Travel tips from a grumpy old man

Posted: July 22, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

flying-rantThis is gonna get ranty, so brace yourself.  I write this while sitting on the plane, a small plane, with little leg room and even less cooling, but I’ll try to remain civil in my list of peeves…

1. Perfume and cologne:  As much as they may smell nice to you, they sure get sickening to others when stuck in a flying metal tube.  Lets limit ourselves to deodorant and hand creams, okay?  No one wants to taste your perfume for hours on end with no escape.  This isn’t the 1500’s, we have running water and can bathe regularly so no need to mask body odour that way.
2. Jewelry:  Don’t wear 7 lbs of necklaces, rings and bangles and then complain when you have to take them all off to go thru the metal detector in airport security.  Put them in your baggage until you get to your destination. Which brings me to the next item…
3. Baggage:  If you are struggling with getting it down the aisles, what in the world makes you think it’s a good idea to try to wedge it into an overhead?  Checking you luggage doesn’t really take that much longer and it will eliminate you trying to cram it into the overhead compartment while blocking the aisle, giving up and then fighting to get it under the seat in front of you, thereby taking up all your foot-room, which for some reason you think gives you an excuse to try to share mine.  I’m sorry but you’re lack of planning is no fault of mine.  Especially when there are those fancy “try your luggage here” racks in all airports to avoid this kind of problem in the first place.
4. Shoes:  Why is it people don’t want to remove their shoes and will hold up the security line while they go thru 2 or 3 times making it beep before they finally remove their shoes?  Just take them off and walk through in your socks.  Are you afraid someone is going to steal your shoes?  If you are that attached to them, put them in your bag and wear crappy ones to the airport.  If it’s because you don’t want everyone to notice you are wearing lifts, well, dude, sorry to say but you weren’t fooling anyone in the first place.
5. Seating:  If you have trouble making it for more than 30 minutes without going to the washroom, book a seat near the washroom on the plane and make it an aisle seat.  Most airlines allow you to select your seat or at least set preferences when booking so you are not constantly annoying anyone else who gets the pleasure of sitting next to you.  Also,  if you have trouble fitting in the seat with the armrest down, too bad.  They are there to ensure you stay in the seat you paid for, not expand into the adjacent seat.
People just need to be more courteous when it comes to flying.  Most people aren’t doing it because they enjoy being stuck in a cramped seat for long periods of time, they are doing it because they have to get someplace that is just too far to drive.  I say most.  I’m sure maybe some do, but I haven’t met any.

And don’t give me that “I paid good money for this seat and I can do what I want“.  Guess what, the people around you paid just as much good money NOT to be annoyed by you, and you are just one person in a crowd of people already mostly on edge from dealing with crowds and lines all day trying to get to where they need to be with their sanity and belongings intact.

Onward and upward, and then back down again.  Hopefully in a controlled fashion,


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